Oliver Queen's Christmas Carol
by pompeypearly
Summary: For the Chlollie LJ community 'Chlolliedays' celebration.  Chloe has gone and Oliver is facing his first Christmas without her.  This is Oliver's version of 'A Christmas Carol'. Spoilers for Season 9 & 10
1. Chapter 1

Summary: For the Chlollie LJ community 'Chlolliedays' celebration. Chloe has gone and Oliver is facing his first Christmas without her. This is Oliver's version of 'A Christmas Carol'.

Author Note: All comments and reviews are appreciated. They are my addiction, so please feed it.

* * *

Chloe had once told him that this was her favourite time of the year. The music, the decorations, and the inevitable indigestion; there was nothing she loved more than throwing herself wholeheartedly into the festivities. In Oliver's opinion the season sucked and he couldn't wait to see the back of it.

If you believed the hype, Christmas was a time of joy; a time of giving and sharing. Children eagerly awaited the arrival of a fat stranger, dressed in red, to sneak into their houses while they slept, and the general population spent more money than they earned. Bah humbug.

In his memory he had never experienced a traditional Christmas, and foolishly he had been looking forward to this year. It was a first for him, and he had allowed himself to become excited at the plans Chloe had made months in advance. It was going to be their first Christmas as a couple; they were even going to decorate his place together.

Except fate intervened, and everything changed. Chloe was no longer here; she had traded her life for his, and now he was alone, wishing she were here.

Oliver looked around his Clocktower apartment. It had never felt so empty.

He couldn't stay there, he needed to get out. He headed towards his secret arrow room. A patrol of the city would help him to forget for a while. Only with a surge of adrenaline would he forget that she was no longer talking in his ear; that she wouldn't be waiting for him warm and half naked upon his return.

He stepped into the room and pulled his uniform from where it was hanging and started pulling on the leather trousers. He was halfway dressed when he felt a familiar breeze blow past him.

"Oliver."

"Hey, Clark. I was about to head out on patrol, but I guess I wouldn't mind the Blur joining the fun." He zipped up the vest before turning towards his guest.

"It's more of a social call really."

Oliver raised his eyebrows. Clark wasn't known for his social interactions lately; he rarely had time for anyone but Lois.

"Social call?"

"It's Christmas tomorrow, and since finding out about the league Lois has wanted an excuse to get everyone together. She wanted a RSVP on your invitation to dinner."

"I've told Lois already, Christmas isn't my thing. I'm going to patrol the city so you can enjoy the day with Lois."

He had told Lois repeatedly that he wouldn't be joining them at the Kent farm. Having to wear a fake smile all day and eating her inedible food might have been bearable, but watching the team enjoy the day with their loved ones? It was something even he couldn't smile his way through. Chloe should be there with him, and her family and friends should be missing her too. Oliver didn't want to be reminded that the only one feeling her loss was him.

"It would really mean a lot to us if you were there. You're part of the family."

Oliver snatched up his glasses. Family. He could laugh. Chloe was family, and yet Clark hadn't lifted a finger to help in the search for her. "No offense Clark, but I'm really not in a celebrating mood."

Clark put his hands in his pockets, watching Oliver finish gearing up for the night. "This isn't what she would want, Oliver."

"She would want me to concentrate on my job, so that's what I'm doing." Oliver opened the balcony doors, ready to head out onto the nearby rooftops.

"The offer still stands, if you change your mind."

He wouldn't, he knew that. "Thanks."

Oliver inserted an arrow into his compound bow and fired the line into the night before disappearing.

Clark watched his exit quietly. He may not be drinking and womanising, but Oliver was on another kind of downward spiral. When he wasn't working at Queen Industries, he was throwing himself into the role of Green Arrow, leaving little time between.

Clark turned to head towards the elevator. Wherever Chloe was, he hoped she knew what she was doing.

* * *

At one in the morning, Oliver stumbled through Watchtower's doors. He had been pushing himself too hard lately, and he was at the point of exhaustion.

Having a quick glance at the quiet room he was thankful that Tess was nowhere to be found. Walking over to the couch he pulled a worn photograph from his tunic before lying down.

He had taken the photo from the Talon weeks before, and it hadn't left his person since. It was Chloe how he remembered her. She was relaxed, her hair was tussled and there was that soft smile he fell in love with.

Oliver yawned as he continued to look at the picture. There were only two things he needed in his life right now – Chloe, and sleep.

* * *

_Oliver buried his head further into the feather pillow. He hadn't felt this comfortable in a long while and the reluctance to move was overwhelming._

_The sensation of fingers running through his hair had his eyes snapping open in an instant. He looked at his surroundings, immediately recognising the furnished room with an overbearing tartan theme. The McDougal Inn._

_He turned towards his bed mate, already knowing her identity._

_Chloe was lying amongst the rumpled covers, staring at him with a smile. She was wearing the green silk babydoll he had bought her for the vacation. He had negotiated the 'no gifts rule' by claiming it was more of a present for himself. She really was beautiful._

_In the back of his mind he knew that it was a dream, that she wasn't really there, but he didn't care. If he could only be with her in his dreams, then that would be fine until he could find her in the real world. He needed her so much it hurt._

_Turning towards her he pulled her close, holding her tightly. Even in his dreams she smelt the same; vanilla shampoo and coffee._

_She sighed as she settled into his embrace, her small fingers tracing patterns on his back. "You're right, Romeo. It's just a dream."_

"_Can't we pretend we're really here?"_

"_You can't live your life like this, Ollie. I'm not there, but you have people that are. They care for you."_

_He relaxed as he felt her fingers move up his arms, soothing any tension away. He nuzzled into her neck, kissing the soft skin above her pulse. "I miss you too much. Is that a crime?"_

"_When you stop living your life because of me? Yes. You know I wouldn't want you to be like this."_

"_It's not worth living without you."_

_Chloe pushed away from his embrace before slapping his bare chest hard. "Hey! I didn't bust my ass to bring you back from the brink just for you to try throwing yourself off again."_

"_Just let me enjoy my dream." Oliver pulled her close again and continued to kiss her like before. "I'm hoping it will turn into a sex one. Remind me to dream you up a Green Arrow outfit of your own for next time."_

_Chloe seemed to be ignoring his physical advances; she just stared at him until he finally gave up and looked at her face._

"_Dreams are temporary, but friendships can last forever. You need to be reminded of that. There is a life outside of this waiting for you." She leant forward and cupped his cheek with her hand before kissing him softly on the lips. "You're a stubborn pain in the ass, but I do love you. It's time for you to wake up and realise that I am not the only one."_

_This dream Chloe wasn't nearly as much fun as the others. He gently rolled her over onto her back before covering her body with his. "I refuse to wake up. I have you here, I'm good."_

"_Wake up, Oliver."_

"_No."_

"Wake up, Oliver!"

"No!"

"Oliver! Get your ass up!"

A shove to his shoulder brought Oliver round with a start. He caught himself from falling from the couch but was unable to avoid the disapproving look Tess was giving him. She thrust a cup of coffee into his hands before walking back over to her desk.

'_Chloe's desk' _He thought to himself.

"I was having a great dream Tess – way to go."

"I know. I've had to endure your 'happy noises' for the past fifteen minutes. Waking you was the only way to shut you up."

Oliver glanced at the clock. It was only two in the morning. "Isn't it a little late for you to be here?"

"Watchtower alerted me to your arrival. Given your avoidance of this place lately I thought you might have been injured."

"Yeah, well I'm fine. You can head off, crisis averted."

"I suggest you do the same, you look like hell." Tess said taking in his appearance.

"Yeah. Good idea." He was still feeling the loss of his dream. She had been right there in his arms, even if it was only in his mind.

Oliver stood up from the couch and headed in the direction of the elevator. The sooner he got home, the sooner he could get back to his dreams of Chloe.


	2. Chapter 2

Spoilers: Seasons 9 & 10

Summary: For the Chlollie LJ community 'Chlolliedays' celebration. Chloe has gone and Oliver is facing his first Christmas without her. This is Oliver's version of 'A Christmas Carol'.

Author Note: All comments and reviews are appreciated. They are my addiction, so please feed it.

I hope you've all had a fantastic Christmas! My lovely banner is by the talented nivieniv.

This Chapter is dedicated to prophet64 who has a bitch for a boss, and needs a little festive cheer.

* * *

Oliver stepped out from the bathroom, the steam following as he padded towards his bed. Every bone ached, and the exhaustion was beginning to sweep through his body again. He walked to the opposite side, leaving Chloe's space empty as usual.

He sheets were cold and unwelcoming as he crawled beneath them, and he hoped that sleep would find him soon.

Weeks of pushing himself to his physical and mental limits allowed that one wish to be granted.

* * *

An icy cold breeze disturbed Oliver from his slumbers. He really must have been exhausted if he hadn't closed the balcony door properly following his patrol that night. The silk sheets offered him little protection from the harsh temperature; it was too cold in the room to fall back to sleep. He was going to have to move.

With a heartfelt groan, Oliver swung his legs over the side of the bed. He was about to stand when he noticed movement across the room. He grabbed the crossbow he kept under his bed and aimed it at the corner of the room.

"A bit dramatic, don't you think?"

Oliver sighed with relief before putting the crossbow on the bed. "What the hell, Tess? I'm home in bed as ordered, finally getting some sleep. What's with the unwelcome wakeup call?"

"Oh, you're still sleeping, I can assure you."

Oliver winced as he turned on the bedside light. "Been hitting the eggnog? I'm all for you getting into the Christmas spirit, but couldn't you bring the drunken fun another time?"

"Oh, I'd say I'm full of Christmas spirit, alright. Christmas Past, actually."

"Really? We're really doing this now? Cos I hate to break it to you, but I'm not Bill Murray, and you're not a wacko fairy in a dress."

"If I remember the film you're referring to, she was the ghost of Christmas Present."

This conversation was completely pointless. Why couldn't he just be left alone? Tess had what she wanted; she had replaced Chloe as the team's go-to girl with the team's blessing, and now to make matters worse she was following him home. Was she trying to replace Chloe there too?

A frustrated groan echoed in the room as he threw himself back on the bed. "Go home, Mercy."

"No. Not until you understand Chloe's message."

Chloe.

Since when did anyone around here even think of her apart from him? She had been the furthest thing from everyone's minds; only he had continued the search after discovering the reason behind her disappearance.

Tess clicked her fingers, and Oliver no longer found himself lying on his bed. Instead he was standing outside a small, homely looking building. The surroundings were familiar; it didn't take him long to understand where he was.

"What the hell just happened?"

"I told you that you were still dreaming. This is all in your mind Oliver." She smiled as she walked past him and towards the building.

He knew this didn't make sense. There was no rational explanation for being in his room one second to a family run bed and breakfast in England. If this really was a dream, all he could do was go with the flow until he awoke.

"I don't get it." Oliver said, suddenly appearing by Tess' side.

"You remember this Christmas, don't you?"

Oliver looked at the sight in front of him. The team had successfully disabled a 33.1 lab in England and were spending Christmas there at Bart's insistence.

The owner was an elderly lady called Anne, and she ran the business alongside her husband and her daughter Hannah. There had been no other guests during their stay, so Anne insisted that the 'young men' joined her family for Christmas day. She wouldn't hear of them hiding in their rooms eating frozen meals while there was a home cooked meal and company available.

"Well doesn't this look quaint?" Tess remarked as Oliver, Bart, AC and Victor were all seated around the table.

Anne was busy trying to seat AC next to Hannah, while her daughter rolled her eyes at her mother's obvious manipulation. Her cheeks were burning bright red and Ollie smiled as he recalled the true cause of her embarrassment. Hannah had been bringing fresh towels to the rooms as usual that morning and accidentally walked in on AC enjoying a shower. While nudity had never been a problem to him, Hannah was not used to seeing that much of her guests – and from what Oliver knew, there was much to see.

Oliver remembered the day well. Anne had fed them continuously, much to Bart's delight, and they had exchanged gifts late in the evening before they called it a night. AC had even asked Hannah to join him for a walk the next day. It was the first Christmas he could truly remember enjoying.

Oliver watched as Anne brought a large turkey into the room and Victor getting up to help her. A confused Bart leant towards his past self and whispered in his ear.

"_Dude, I think they've confused Thanksgiving and Christmas. Where's the ham?"_

"_You're in England; they have turkey at Christmas."_

"_Weird."_

"_You're complaining about the first home cooked meal we've had in three months?"_

"_Hey, I'm not that crazy."_

Bart snatched up the plate of roast potatoes and started to pile them onto his plate.

Oliver smirked as he watched the memory replay.

"Being around friends made this Christmas special for you."

Christmas this year was supposed to have been special too - spending the morning in bed with Chloe before exchanging gifts, a private dinner for two that they would have cooked themselves, and hot chocolate in front of a fire while listening to carols. His smile fell as he watched the memory. Chloe would have loved this place. He turned from the joyful scene playing out in the room to face Tess.

"The past is what it is. I suggest we leave it there."

"This was the only Christmas you were happy, Oliver. Since your parents died you have done nothing to celebrate the season and you have pushed away those that try to reach out to you."

Oliver could feel the anger rising within him. Didn't she understand that things had changed? His life had been left with a hole that could never be filled, and no amount of reminiscing would change that. "I would have had Chloe!"

"You've forgotten just how cold life can be. The loss of one person is not greater than losing everyone."

Tess clicked her fingers, and the warm, cosy room changed to a bleak, darkened room. The nearby stereo was playing 'Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas' softly in the background, and the only source of light was a fire roaring in the fireplace.

"I'm ready to wake up now."

"No, I think you need to be reminded of what loneliness truly is."

Oliver knew instantly where he was, and rubbed his arms to rid himself of a chill that wasn't there. He hadn't stepped foot inside this place since he was a teenager; there was a reason for that.

He recognised his nine year old self siting alone in the room. The staff had wished him a merry Christmas before leaving to join their families for the holidays. The only person to remain was his nanny; she had taken the role as his guardian after his parents' death, and was there to keep him company through the school's breaks.

This was the year that he had given up hope. He watched his younger self screw up an envelope in his hand before getting up and walking towards the fire. He threw in the paper and watched the paper burn. The silent tears ran freely down young Oliver's face, his teeth biting into his lip to prevent a sob from breaking free.

Every year since his parents' death, Oliver had written his letter to Santa without fail. There was only one thing he asked for, and every year his Christmas wish failed to come true. Every year, Oliver Queen had asked Santa to bring his parents back, and every Christmas morning he was disappointed.

This was the year Oliver Queen realised there was no Santa Claus.

"All you wanted for Christmas was to be surrounded by your loved ones. "

"I don't need to see anymore. I remember this all very clearly."

"I just want you to remember this tomorrow morning. You have people who want to be with you." Tess placed an arm on Oliver's shoulder, drawing his attention away from the sad scene. "Our past defines us - who we are and what we will become. Sometimes you need to find a way to make the happy memories for yourself."

"Whatever. I've seen enough."

With a sad smile Tess clicked her fingers and they were gone.


	3. Chapter 3

Author Note: All comments and reviews are appreciated. They are my addiction, so please feed it. Thanks to Judyku for beta-ing this chapter. Happy to be your test subject, hun.

* * *

Safe in his bed, Oliver wrestled against the sheets. He needed to wake from his nightmare, but was trapped within the dream. It was three in the morning and his subconscious was far from finished with him.

* * *

Oliver was back in his bed and Tess was nowhere to be seen. It seemed as though she had finally taken the hint and left him alone.

"Don't get too comfortable there, Green Jeans. I have no intention of hauling your pathetic ass around all night."

Oliver sagged forward and cupped his face in his hands. "Of all people, why did I have to dream of you?"

Carter Hall stood at the foot of his bed in his full Hawkman costume. "Believe me, if I had any choice, yours is the last mind I would want to be running around in." He growled.

"This has got to be the worst dream ever."

"It's about to get worse." Carter grabbed Oliver by the arm and dragged him from the bed. "Enjoy."

"Hey! Watch it Big Bird!"

"Quit your whining." Carter opened Oliver's bedroom door before shoving him through it.

Instead of falling into his hallway, Oliver fell onto the familiar hardwood floors of the Kent farm.

Oliver slowly got to his feet and took in his surroundings. Shelby the dog was cowering beside the sofa as both smoke and a string of expletives billowed from the kitchen.

He brushed his hands off on his pants as he recognised the voice.

"I see Lois is cooking."

Carter walked towards the kitchen door and Oliver followed. The older man enjoyed pushing him far too much to be given an excuse.

"_I don't understand! I followed you mom's recipe exactly!"_

Oliver saw Clark pull the burning pan from the oven with his bare hands. The wince on his friend's face wasn't from the pain any normal human being would have, but at the state of the Christmas pudding in front of him.

"_Maybe we can just serve the pie instead?" Clark suggested as he put the smoking pan on the counter._

"_I'm sure I can save it. I'll just add more brandy and when I serve it, we'll just go heavy on the cream. No one will know." Lois picked up the bottle and began to pour the alcohol onto the charred mess._

"_Uh, Lois…I'm not sure more brandy is going to help."_

"_Trust me, Smallville. There's nothing that can't be fixed with generous servings of alcohol."_

"_If you say so," Clark cringed as Lois emptied the bottle into the pan. "Do you want me to set the table? The guys should be here soon."_

_Lois put the empty bottle onto the side and looked up at her boyfriend. "Has he called?"_

"_No. He's determined to spend the holidays on his own."_

"_Chloe wouldn't have wanted this."_

_Clark braced himself. Lois never enjoyed not getting her way. "Oliver is his own man; you can't force him to be here."_

"_If I didn't have to cook, you could bet your life I would have dragged his mopey ass here for dinner!"_

"_He's hurting, Lois."_

"_And I'm not?" Lois threw the dishcloth down and gripped the edge of the sink. Biting her lip she pushed the pain back down, unwilling to show her feelings. Lanes were not weak._

_She slowly turned to face him as she composed herself. "Chloe is closer to me than my own sister; sometimes she feels like the only real family I have left. She should be here, not alone out there on Christmas day. He's not the only one who loves her and needs her here."_

_Clark saw her eyes take on a glassy sheen as she held onto her tears. He reached forward and brought Lois into a tight hug._

"_I just wanted us all here."_

"You getting this down, green bean?" Carter asked as he too watched the intimate moment.

Shaking his head, Oliver crossed his arms defensively across his chest. "What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing; I'd prefer it if you keep your mouth shut. You're here to think and observe."

He wasn't completely stupid.

Oliver knew that if anyone else was feeling the loss of Chloe, it was Lois. The difference was that she had Clark to turn to. He had assumed that she would be so swept up in her work and Clark, like always, that Chloe's absence would not affect her like it had him.

"Your friends can't offer you the same support?"

"You're a mind reader too?"

Carter gave him an angry look before snapping his fingers and the room seemed to fast forward around them, leaving Oliver nauseated. Time has sped forward and now they were watching as the house was a bustle of activity. Bart was running from AC for making lurid comments about Mera's chest, and Clark was trying to keep the kitchen from catching fire as Lois battled Victor on her X-Box.

"What's so wrong with this picture that you don't want to be a part of it?" Carter bit out.

"You really want me to answer that?" Oliver felt his frustration bubble to the surface again. After all, wasn't Chloe at the centre of this?

"If you stopped acting like a child, you would understand the point."

Oliver kept his mouth shut. He was intent on letting Carter monologue his way through the gathering when Bart caught his attention. AC had finally given up the chase, allowing Bart to stand still for two minutes. He was beside Clark, helping him bring dishes of food to the table.

"_Bossman's not coming?"_

"_No."_

"They don't need you here, but you are wanted." Carter said. "Being able to belong is something you take for granted."

_Bart sighed. "He still hasn't heard from 'licious?"_

"_No-one has. I just hope that wherever she is, she's not hurting as much as he is."_

"What is he talking about? Of course she's fine; this is Chloe they're talking about. If she really wanted to be here, she would be. "

Carter looked at him with disdain. "Is that what you tell yourself? You know her better than that."

"Fine, I get it! I should be here forcing myself to have a good time while ignoring how she isn't here with me. I should pretend that I'm not the only one feeling like my heart is breaking!"

"No wonder you wanted to stay at home, you're throwing a pity party of your own. You gonna cry?" Carter grumbled before heading to the front door.

The helmet did nothing to hide the sneer on Carter's face. "Move it, we're going. It's obvious I can't convince you otherwise. The poor little rich boy is the only one hurting this Christmas."

Oliver followed him, hoping that this was his last mind trip of the evening. His subconscious was a bitch, and he'd have his revenge when he woke up. There would be no repeat performances tonight; any ghost of Christmas future was going to have to wade through two bottles of hard liquor. Nothing numbed the mind like scotch.

Carter once again forced him through the doorway, and to his frustration it wasn't his room. It was a crappy looking motel room with a muted television as the only source of light.

He didn't recognise the place. He was sure he had never spent the night in a motel, not even when his drinking and whoring was at its worst.

"I've never been here."

"Of course you haven't. This isn't your Christmas; it's hers." Carter nodded over to the person on the bed, only her back visible from their position at the door.

Oliver could recognise that profile anywhere.

"Chloe!" He ran to her side and tried to hold her, but his arms passed straight through.

"You're not really here, moron. You can't touch her."

She was curled up in the foetal position on the bed, hugging her knees to her chest. Oliver watched as the tears rolled down her cheeks, her eyes only briefly flickering to the photographs in front of her. On the top of the pie was a snapshot of them together at the McDougal Inn. Lois had taken it while they were unaware. Chloe had been laughing at something he'd said; her infectious smile had him grinning like a fool.

"_God, I miss you so much." She spoke into the quiet room._

He'd thought that she had left every personal possession behind when she disappeared. Lois had said nothing was moved from their apartment, everything was just as she had left it.

Chloe was homesick and she was upset; she didn't want to be here. Oliver got up and looked around the room for anything that would give a clue to her location.

"You're not going to find anything."

"If I can get a clue of where she is, I can get to her. She doesn't have to spend Christmas this way; I can bring her home!" He looked at the small table she had set up a laptop on, looking desperately for just a single lead.

"Like you said, this is her choice. My point was that despite having to make the decision, she doesn't have to like it."

Oliver paused in his search and looked back at the tear stained blonde. His heart ached at the sight of her so upset. All he wanted to do was put his arms around her and comfort her.

"You of all people should understand this. I need her, Carter. By the look of things, she needs me too. " He said softly.

"You have the opportunity to take comfort in the company she craves, but you reject it. How do you think she would respond to that?"

Oliver watched as Chloe picked up another photo, this one of her, Clark and Lois. She smiled briefly as her silent grief continued. His face softened as he watched the emotions play across her features. He knew exactly what she would do. "She'd kick my ass."

Carter barked out a laugh. "Finally, the genius gets it."

Oliver sat next to her on the bed. It was strange to be so close to her without her acknowledging his presence. "She's not coming back any time soon, is she?"

"That's for her to decide."

His fingertips ghosted over her cheek, his chest aching at not being able to really touch her. She was so close, but so out of reach. It hurt.

If she could endure it, then so could he. He had to have faith that there was a good reason for their separation. She wouldn't want him to be as miserable as she was. Maybe he could do it for her. Try to live like she wanted him to, experience it on her behalf.

"I'm ready to go home." He said softly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Warnings: Mild sexual content and Black Canary bashing.**

* * *

Carter had simply vanished upon their return, leaving Oliver standing alone in his bedroom. He knew what he had to do.

First thing in the morning he would go to the Kent Farm and try to enjoy Christmas. He would do it for Chloe; she deserved someone who wouldn't give up everything they wanted to share together. He'd be that person for her, even if she had no way of knowing.

He softly padded over towards his bed, intent on crawling back beneath the cold sheets. If he was going to be driving into Smallville early tomorrow he would need as much rest as possible, especially if he was going to have to eat that pudding.

Groaning at the thought of having to try digesting that mess, he pulled back the covers. Maybe he should just pack the Pipto Bismol now.

He was about to step in when the room became ice cold.

Oliver's shoulders slumped forward. "You don't need to be here. I already know what I have to do."

He turned slowly, wondering if he would see Clark dressed in a large black cloak, accompanied with a scythe.

Instead, he was surprised to see an angry looking Dinah Lance instead. She was dressed in her full Black Canary gear and looking at him like he had murdered her family dog.

"I promise you Di, I've worked it out. I'll be doing Christmas this year. Chloe needs me to, and I can do it for her."

Her heels clicked loudly on the floor as she stalked towards him. Not once had she spoken a word; she just looked at him as if his mere existence offended her.

She strode towards him, and the sound of slap that connected with his cheek resonated throughout the apartment. Oliver's eyes winced with the contact and felt the stinging spread. He was about to ask what the hell she was thinking when he was distracted by other noises in the room.

They weren't hard to make out.

Dinah shoved his left shoulder, turning him back in the direction of the bed. What he saw made his stomach turn.

Oliver saw himself lying back on the bed as a familiar blonde was riding him like her life depended on it. The biggest surprise was that it wasn't Chloe. No wonder Dinah had slapped him.

"This is supposed to be my future?" He didn't believe it. He and Dinah…together? That just didn't make any sense.

He watched as his future self came, leaving his partner unsatisfied. He pushed her onto her back before swiftly getting up, and heading towards the bathroom.

"What the hell does this have to do with anything?" He asked Canary. What kind of messed up Christmas story was this?

The bathroom door closed and he watched as Dinah kicked the covers from the bed in a huff. He had seen that look before – she was pissed. In her anger, she picked up his pillow and threw it across the room, hitting the vanity and almost toppling the mirror.

He was unsure where to look. Even if his future self was screwing around with her, _he_ didn't feel particularly comfortable looking at her naked.

As if she heard his thoughts she grabbed a black satin robe from the floor, before she followed him to the bathroom door.

"_So is that it?" She yelled through the door._

Oliver frowned as he watched the makings of a domestic argument brew in front of him. He walked towards the bathroom himself and was surprised to find he could walk straight through.

The other Oliver was finishing off in the shower, clearly ignoring the woman shouting at him from the bedroom.

"_You know, when I said yes to marrying Oliver Queen, I expected to experience first-hand the fire and passion that had been explicitly described in every tabloid known to man."_

"Married?" Oliver exclaimed. "No way!"

He walked over towards the shower and spotted the plain wedding band on his future self's finger.

He didn't understand. At some point in the future, he married Dinah. Chloe was the only woman he could ever imagine spending his life with. Marrying someone else…it was just wrong; and with Dinah too! How did he make such a bad decision.

"_I just can't believe I not only fell for your act, but tried to live with this sham of a marriage for five months! I'm sick of debasing myself because my husband can't rid himself of the memory of someone who was no better than the JLA's receptionist!"_

Oliver wanted to respond, despite knowing she wouldn't hear a damn thing. Instead he watched as his other self turned off the water and gripped the towel rail tightly.

He'd seen that look before. Bitterness. Anger. He'd seen it for months in the mirror before he had been pulled back by a blonde with a plan.

This was his future.

"_You're pathetic, Oliver." She laughed "Ever think that that was why she never came back? She probably smelt the desperation from three states away and turned back."_

Oliver watched as his double opened a secret closet and pulled out his Green Arrow leathers.

"At least some things haven't changed."

"_Are you even going to answer me?" The door vibrated with the impact of her fist hitting the wood._

It appeared that his answer was no, because the uniform was being put on with lightning speed.

"_It's no wonder the team no longer speaks to you – you're not even really here anymore. "_

_In full Green Arrow gear, Oliver opened the door to the bathroom and pushed past his angry wife._

"_You have no idea, Di. I moved on with my life – just like she would have wanted me to. So don't throw my past back at me. You're no vestal virgin." He opened a panel in the wall and pulled out his compound bow. This was an argument he was tired of having._

_Dinah just stood in place as he opened the balcony doors, ready to head off into the night._

"_I'm not doing this anymore." She pulled off the rings that adorned her left hand and dropped them to the floor. The clatter of metal on the hard floor seemed to echo in the silence, "Merry Christmas, Ollie. You're finally on your own."_

_She made to storm her way into the bathroom but his words sliced through the air._

"_You're not half the woman she was." Firing a shot across the rooftops he disappeared into the night._

Oliver stood there in stunned silence. He had just witnessed the dissolution of his marriage, and all because he just didn't care enough about the woman he had pledged his life to.

He felt a cold hand on his shoulder, and turned to look at Canary. Now he knew why she looked so angry; he'd involved her in his life's mess. As the hand swung again to connect with his cheek, he knew that there was an Oliver out there that kinda deserved it.

* * *

When he opened his eyes this time, the surroundings were again familiar. He was standing at the Queen Family plot at Star City's cemetery. He'd read Dickens, he knew what Canary had brought him to see.

He looked over his shoulder at his potential future ex-wife. "Is this really necessary?"

Her only response was to point at a grave, freshly covered with dirt.

He watched as the priest left, leaving two mourners standing by the grave. He walked towards them, silently wanting to see a friendly face. As he rubbed his sore cheek, he really hoped one of them wasn't Dinah.

The mourners weren't who he expected; he stood there stunned as he took in their appearance. This couldn't be that far in the future.

Looking at the headstone, he knew what to expect. It was 2015. It was no wonder Chloe and Courtney had hardly aged.

Chloe's eyes were red, and her face was puffy. Oliver could tell that she had been crying, and it hurt something deep inside of him to see her like this. Despite everything, she cared enough to cry over him. The last thing he wanted was to give her more pain in her life, but even in death he had managed just that.

"_The day I finally put away my computer was his wedding day. He had his business, his friends, and Dinah. He was happy."_

_Courtney stepped beside her and took Chloe's hand in her own._

"_After you left, he was never the same. He stopped living for himself; instead he did what he thought you would want for him. When you didn't come back he thought he was doing the right thing."_

"_So it's my fault." Chloe's fault was barely a whisper._

"_No, it's not!" Courtney's voice wavered with emotion, but was still passionate in her response. "Oliver fooled us all. It was only a few weeks before the wedding that he started to change. He pulled away and shut out his friends."_

"_But how did this happen? Why did he bleed to death, alone in an alley? Where was Clark? Bart? You, even?" Chloe hiccupped on her sob "I thought you guys had his back?"_

"_Once Dinah left, he cut off contact with the League completely. I'm the only one to see him in the last year."_

"_I am so angry at him right now."_

Oliver could see that she wanted to say more, she was biting her lip to hold the words back, the way she always used to.

He had done this to her. There was no one else to blame.

"_If he had just stuck with you guys, he would have had a chance."_

"_We can't change the past, but I'm going to make sure I learn from it. Carter always told me that if we are to make something of our future, you have to observe the mistakes of the past. I don't think he was talking just about the history books."_

_Chloe squeezed her friend's hand. "I can't do this anymore. This isn't the man I fell in love with."_

"_You want coffee?"_

_Chloe nodded. Courtney put her arm around the smaller blonde's shoulders and led her away._

Oliver stood rooted to the spot, watching as Courtney escorted the woman he loved away from his grave. He wanted to touch her, comfort her. He wanted to yell that he was still the man she fell in love with. But, she wasn't really here. This was a potential future, and Ollie intended on taking Courtney's advice to heart.

He looked over his shoulder. Dinah was nowhere to be seen.

How was he going to get home?

Walking to where he last saw her he failed to notice the loose stone in front of him. He fell spectacularly onto his face and just lay on the grass.

"Could this night get any better?"

The grass felt soft beneath his hands. Too soft.

There was a ringing in his ears too. The smell of damp grass had left his nostrils; replaced by the aroma of fresh laundry.

Oliver raised his head. He was lying in his bed back at the Clocktower, with his sheets tangled around his ankles. He must have really tossed and turned.

To his left, his alarm clock continued to beep without pause. Reaching his arm out, he swatted the thing off before rolling onto his back.

That had to be the worst night's sleep he had ever had. Looking back over at the clock, he took note of the time. He had to leave in twenty minutes if he was going to make the trip to Smallville in time.

With a groan he hauled himself out of bed and headed for the shower. He had a burnt dinner to get to.

* * *

As Oliver pulled up in front of the Kent farm, he could see the black smoke billowing from the kitchen window. It seemed that the Christmas pudding wouldn't stay in his dream where it belonged.

As he got out of the car he pulled the large bag of presents with him. He was going to enjoy Christmas for once, with his friends where he belonged; and he wasn't doing it for anyone else. For a change, he was going to give a gift to himself. This day was his gift, and it was going to be all for him.

* * *

In a motel in the middle of nowhere, Chloe sat watching the Kent farm on her hidden security feed. She knew it would only hurt, but she needed a glimpse of them, if only for today.

Her heart seemed to stop as she watched Oliver's car park in front of the porch.

He was smiling as he stepped from the car, the presents almost overflowing from the bag he carried. He looked relaxed and happy as he entered the house. Genuinely happy.

She had been watching him since the day she had left, and for once that fake smile was gone. Seeing his smile light up as he greeted his friends made her eyes water and her chest tighten.

She wanted him. She needed him. She loved him.

She couldn't do it anymore.

Picking up her phone she dialled in the number she had wanted to call for weeks now.

"Hello, I would like to book a flight." She looked at the wonderful chaos of the Kent household again on her screen, "I'm heading to Metropolis…the first flight you have available."


End file.
